Monday, 13 April 2015

Mosaic of crazy on Pinterest

I've pinned images that I've found interesting on the theme of madness.  It's such a rich and fascinating subject to me.  The parameters of what is considered mad seem to shift and change.

I connected deeply with the album Quadrophenia as a teenager.  I find it so brilliant the film and the music.  It's illustrates so perfectly for me what it feels like to be isolated even in a crowd. 

The sea is a big character in the film.  I remember spending time gazing painfully at the sea feeling it understood me, cold and desolate.  The Rock an instrumental and Love reign o'ver me,these two songs I feel are beautiful black, bleak, cold and deep.  Really not easy listening.
I have been reading a lot on and off about isolation and loneliness.  It seems it is a really unhealthy condition not just on mental health but on physical health as well.

In my experience a feeling of loneliness brings on anxiety making it harder to relax in company and on my own.  I've started to explore that the feeling of isolation in myself might be self imposed.  Escaping my anxiety through activities and various addictions, anything to distract myself from reality.  So I starting to believe isolation is a symptom of a dissatisfaction with life.

Because people can spend a lot of time alone and be very happy or spend a lot of time with people and be very unhappy and lonely.  I am now trying to make peace with my circumstances and environment, making friends with whats around me, rather than fight with the clutter and always being busy and,just being again. Letting it do its thing, being there, looking messy and me not bolting for the exit.  It seems ok so far when I stop shouting at me, with, when am I going to sort out that?, and this stuff? etc etc.  I can see I have some lovely things to look at, I haven't looked at something for any length of time for no reason since I was a kid.  I don't remember isolation being a big deal then, despite being alone a lot, because things were beautiful, nature, shop windows, books and pictures.  Interactions come and go and they can be wonderful.  I'm seeing the immediate environment was also a friend to me.  I think I might be being a bit mindful noticing and appreciating whats around. 

This is what I think is missing from Jimmy's life (the main character in Quadrophrenia) I think he misses a lot of opportunities to truly connect because he is in so much emotional pain.

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Van Gogh portraits

Sz Icon

Sz Icon

St Dymhna as shaman

St Dymhna as shaman

A story by Izzy

Live Forever

Once upon a time, in a place far far away, there lived a beautiful and spirited woman, who was like a wild flower.

Her hair contained the most incredible dreams and wonderful magic spells, from the most beautiful parts of the earth and from the edges of the solar system.

The wind of the East fell deeply in love with her and played through her lovely locks, it became such that she could command the weather.

One day the wind spoke to the smoke of her cigarette and told it to cling to each and every strand of her beautiful hair.
The cigarette smoke obeyed the wind and saturated through everyone of the golden threads and began to decay from within.

The bright sunshine of her days began to grow dimmer and colder and she was dragged deep under ground and was sent to Whitchurch Castle in the clouds.

Here she battled tooth and nail with demons and dragons. Spoke with angels and had untold adventures with good and evil.

The beautiful dreams that dwelt in her hair, turned into terrifying nightmares.

She went to the well to wash her hair, but the water would not cleanse or renew it. The sun refused to shine upon it and the saddest of all, the wind no longer wanted to play with it.

So the young woman by this time, had become a princess, scraped back her beloved hair into a ponytail and the gold sunshine began to grow out, taking her dreams and magic spells with it.

The Castle keepers were worried about her and so gave her a magic potion to rid the evil smoke that had claim of her hair.
An eternity came and went and she grew older.

One clear day the smoke had finally gone once and for all.

She was banished from the kingdom of Whitchurch and was now expected to toil the fields with the good men and women of the outside world.

She was now mortal and pined for the Easterly wind to play with her again, but he no longer loved her.

One cold morning, she had an idea to attract him back to her, so she sat at her mirror and plaited her hair into strands and put coloured ribbon on the ends to bind them.
Would he notice her again?

With her hair plaited, he would see a string of golden tears that she cried over missing him so much.

Now she lives in a little hut in the village and has worn her hair in plaits for 2,000 years.

One day she hopes it will be unravelled, when he remembers where he left his sunny days and warm nights with her on the moon.
The End

Illustration for story Live Forever

Illustration for story Live Forever
This is a drawing of the character in a story I wrote for a digital story telling course with the Four Winds

Bay Girls

Bay Girls
This is a drawing of two of my neighbours

Zippo face warmers

Zippo face warmers